On Critiquing and Rewriting, Part 2

In my last blog, I made suggestions for critiquing the first three pages of your book or chapter.  Now for the rest of the story.

Does the plot or story line work?  The reader expects conflict in both fiction and nonfiction.  Personally, I detest stories  with too much sunshine.  I want the protagonist (main character) to have obstacles to overcome or difficulties he can learn to live with.  Go easy with the sugar.  Too much sweetness will rob your writing of vim and vigor.  Life is, after all, a rollercoaster, with many ups and downs.  Describe the wild ride when you put words on the page.  When critiquing someone’s work, pay attention to the tensions.  What helps the reader get what she wants?  What stands in the way? 

Most stories or chapters are a marriage between narrative and dialogue.  Use narration for accurate descriptions and observations of places, people, and feelings.  Enliven the narrative with figurative language such as metaphors  (comparison of two unlike objects), personifications (describing inanimate objects as if animate) and alliteration (repeating initial word sounds) to add lyricism.  Balance the telling by including bits of dialogue.  The use of dialogue serves one of two purposes:  to carry the story forward or to help characterize the person speaking.  The trick for effective dialogue is to make the conversation sound natural without its being natural at all.  For example, most people say too much to get their point across.  To be effective, dialogue needs to be pared down considerably from the way people usually speak. 

Though it’s permissible to add a bit of hyperbole or exaggeration to make your story more dramatic, make sure  what you write conveys truth.  You know you’ve succeeded when the person critiquing believes every word.  Also get the facts right.  One of the greatest benefits of having your writing critiqued is to check out the accuracy.  Recently, in the novel I’m currently writing, I described in great detail a lovely gingko tree in the backyard of my protagonist’s home.  If a botanist hadn’t read my chapter, reminding me that gingko’s didn’t exist in North American during the 1800’s (when my novel takes place), I would have made an embarrassing boo boo.  If you’re writing about a train or horses or pole dancing, or whatever your particular topic might be, find an expert on that particular subject and ask him to read what you’ve written.

In a traditional story, the protagonist changes.  The change might be an epiphany or gradual, such as in many coming-of-age stories, when the young person learns by several experiences or the influence of others.  When a moment of clear realization is reached, the story is essentially finished.  But in most stories, the writer adds falling action.  Here’s a corny example to illustrate what I mean:  Two people meet and gradually, after many ups and downs in the relationship, decide they’re meant for one another, but skillful writers add something else such as the wedding or the honeymoon, so the ending won’t be quite so abrupt.      

Last check the title.  Does the title add something relevant which doesn’t appear in the story?  Make your title a tease or a hint or simply interesting enough to be memorable.  “Grandpa” isn't adequate as a suitable title.  Instead let your title reveal some secret about Grandpa or about your relationship to him.

Keep editing and keep letting others critique what you write.  Like the best silver, manuscripts, if they are to shine, require a great deal of polishing.

Have a question about writing?  Send it to me (sanredd@earthlink.net) and I’ll attempt an answer in a future blog.  In the meantime, keep writing and keep dancing.